Remorse
by Winter Winks 221
Summary: *Takes place after Fallen* Luce feels awful for what the 'Battle of the Angels' has cost- especially to a girl she cared about as a friend. Mr. Cole does his best to offer her some comfort. (My first fanfic in this fandom, so I hope you enjoy!)


"You okay, Luce?"

Luce looked up at Mr. Cole, refueling the plane for the next leg of their journey. She tried to nod that she was fine, and that there was nothing to worry about, but her head wouldn't bob up and down. It was almost as though a locking mechanism had turned itself on, refusing to let her bury her pain in lies and halfhearted gestures.

"To be honest, Mr. Cole…not really…" She admitted quietly. "I…" For a moment, he thought she would admit the reason for her pain- but at the last moment, she said, "I don't want to talk about it. Not now."

"Fair enough," Said Mr. Cole, dryly rounding off the refueling of the plane and paying for the fuel. He stopped to regard the black haired teenage girl, face paler than a moonstone and her thin frame. She had scarcely eaten since escaping the Battle of the Angels at Sword and Cross- but he figured maybe she was just heartbroken at not seeing Daniel for a long while.

Now, though, he suspects there is another reason for her current condition. But as for what it might be, he would have to see if she would tell him. He had received a small amount of information about Luce's plight- mainly, she was in danger and had to reach a haven in the middle of nowhere on a plane.

"You ready to go Luce?" He asked, gently. Luce shuffled off the plane wing and climbed back in the plane without another word.

…

They took off in relative silence and the flight was filled with nothing but the whirs and hums of the plane as Mr. Cole piloted it high through marshmallow clouds.

Through the cockpit glass, he saw Luce's reflection moping, staring out at the sapphire skies, almost mocking her at how normal everything else on land was, whereas they were fleeing for her life.

And his, if he became a prisoner to their enemies whilst on the run. But, mainly hers.

This continued until the skies changed from aquamarine blue to amethyst purple and rose pink, at which point he lowered his trusted aircraft a little. He decided they would have to land soon. The island was still a little too far to make it tonight, and he was tired.

Plus, his young charge looked as though getting out of the plane and away from her thoughts for a little while a would do her some good.

"We're going to land for a night, Luce. Tomorrow, we'll reach our destination, okay?" He asked.

"…alright," Mumbled Luce, not fully paying attention to what Mr. Cole just told her. He frowned, and set the course for landing, before dipping back down towards an island- even smaller than their destination.

….

Mr. Cole watched as Luce fished out the Watchers book and a thermos of hot chocolate she received from Arianne and Gabbe before they left Sword and Cross before fumbling her way back to join him.

"Mr. Cole, could I…I talk to you?" She mumbled. Mr. Cole noticed she looked so vulnerable and alone. He bit his lip, wondering what she wanted to tell him about.

"Sure, Luce, sit down," he said gently, ushering her to where he was preparing to set up camp.

She obeyed and sat down, fiddling with her long, greasy hair. He winced and silently handed her a sandwich he had the foresight to pick up at the gas station.

She nodded gratefully, but let it rest in her lap. She did at least look relieved it was a vegetarian option he picked- cheese and pickle. She looked up at her history teacher turned rescuer, and she took a deep breath.

"How would you feel if you lost someone you loved, and you felt…. Responsible for that loss?"

"Well, I'd feel guilty and saddened." The history teacher replied. "Why?"

"Mr. Cole, I wanted to talk to you about Penn." She said, a faint spark of anger in her eyes.

Ah, he recognized Miss Van Syckle Lockwood- the orphaned ward of Headmaster Udell. She was a queer girl, but a cheerful and innocent one. "Yes, Luce?" He asked her benevolently.

"During the battle…. We- that s, Daniel and I- had to trust Miss Sophia to get us away from the fighting. But when we were escaping…. Penn got hurt bad…. And when we arrived in a secret room in the church…."

She gulped and looked away from Mr. Cole as she trailed off. "Miss Sophia took out a long knife…. I tried to stop her- but I couldn't do it…I couldn't…"

She buried her face in her hands as the tears began to escape her eyes. Mr. Cole placed a hand on her shoulder and allowed her to cry. From the sound of her newly forming sobs, she had needed to grieve for so long, but had not been able to find the time to mourn the loss of her friend properly.

…..

After at least twenty minutes (Mr. Cole had lost track of time) Luce was returning to a calmer state, albeit with a runny nose, red puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks.

"Sorry…" She said. "I…"

"Don't apologize." Mr. Cole replied firmly, but kindly. "You needed to mourn. I wasn't going to stop you from expressing your emotions."

"Thank you." Luce stared at the locket round her neck- the one Daniel gave her before they left. "I just feel that… if we never went with Miss Sophia, Penn would still be here. I feel that I led her to her grave…."

"No, Luce, no," he answered. "From what Daniel told me, Miss Sophia volunteered to take you two, and he said yes- but both you and Daniel are not to blame. It was a very dangerous situation you were in, and Daniel agreed to the decision when he was already under enough pressure to fight to protect you. Only Miss Sophia is to blame for Penn's death. She was capable of deceiving a lot of people- and she also took advantage of Daniel's role in the battle to lure you two away from him and therefore what he would have deemed safety."

Luce nodded. "I just wish… I just wish I could have saved her.

"And that, no one can blame you for. It is saddening and horrific witnessing a loved one die in front of you and you cannot prevent it." He sighed. "I lost my brother when I was a child. He drowned in a river when we were playing outside."

"I'm sorry," Said Luce awkwardly, trying to wipe her eyes.

"It was a long time ago," The history teacher assured her. "I went through emotions not dissimilar to your own. But, I gradually had to accept he was gone. I know that you will be able to accept Penn's loss someday. I do wish it had never had to be so, but to see life again, we must move on from death without allowing it to consume us or cause us to forget some of us are mortal.

"But until you know you're ready to move on, never stop grieving for Penn. Cry if you must; allow the good times to come back to you and bring a smile to your face; allow yourself to feel anger at her unjustified death. But never, ever push your pain of her loss away, Luce."

"...thank you, Mr. Cole." Luce said, managing a small smile. "You have a point- I'll grieve for Penn. But I also feel bad that I can't be back at Sword and Cross to say goodbye."

"That is understandable, Luce; but the best memorial you can give her is keeping her close to your heart. I know the circumstances surrounding her funeral have been erratic, to say the least, but she would want you to remember her, and keep living for her."

"Except I'm running away from a gang of vengeful angels who are mad I'm a part of some prophecy I have no control over." Luce pointed out in a deadpan, causing Mr. Cole to grin wryly.

"True, but that doesn't mean you should stop living." He reminded her. "I want you to keep living Luce. It might be sometime before you can, but keep living, okay? You have many friends and family back home who want to see you again."

Callie… Arianne…. Gabbe…. Mom and Dad…. And of course, Daniel. They would all encourage her to keep fighting and live despite the circumstances.

And now…. Mr. Cole was on her side too. And not just for flying her all the way to an unknown island.

"Thank you, Mr. Cole," She smiled. It was a small smile, but a sincere one regardless. "You are a great teacher- and an excellent pilot/savior." She said.

Mr. Cole chuckled. "You're welcome, Luce." He replied and watched as she let out a loud, unladylike yawn. "I think you should hit the hay- you look like…"

"A zombie?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, it's not incorrect, Miss Price," he told her semi-seriously, and she laughed- though deep down, he was pleased to have helped Luce.

….

"Thank you again, Mr. Cole." Luce mumbled as she laid down to rest, the stars twinkling high above the green canopy above their heads. The history teacher himself lay nearby- just far enough to respect her privacy, but near enough if she needed to alert him of any danger, and vice versa.

"I'm just happy to help, Luce. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Mr. Cole."


End file.
